Photo Clint Fisher

I have a mark.

I do not know what this mark looks like. I have never seen it. This mark is invisible to me; only seen by women.

The closest I ever come to seeing it is when I look into the face of a woman after she has seen me, or perhaps she's simply looked right passed me.

Sometimes it's like a superpower of invisibility. I cannot be seen.

It’s the mark of rejection.

“You are ugly and no woman will ever want to be with you. I simply enjoy showing you these beautiful women because I know that He has put his mark on you. Now it’s my job to make sure you focus on only yourself—how alone you are and will always be. I'll highlight all of your inadequacies so you'll see them in the reflections on the faces of those women you admire day in and day out.

I want you constantly reminded of how alone you are, how undesirable you are. No one will ever want you. Isn't it obvious?

Go ahead. Try to encourage yourself when you see a beautiful woman with a man you believe is less attractive than you. He's obviously doing it right. What are you doing?

You know what? I wasn’t going to say it, but I can’t resist. I love God. He and I don't always get along, but I love to see you go through this pain. I mean, I couldn't have planned it any better myself. You have to hand it to the guy...

He doesn't like you. If He liked you, truly loved you like he claims, then why aren't you normal like everyone else?

A smarter man would have left him a long time ago, went and got himself a hot woman. Remember, those days. Those were the days... You never used to have any problem. I know because I was there. And not to brag about it—well, yeah, fuck it, why not—the only reason you got those women was because of me.

How many years now have you been on this pathetic God journey? Didn't you notice that once the sex stopped, you started thinking more and more about Him until you actually bowed down to that loser and gave your life to him? Let's be honest here. How's that working out for you so far?

You are a sinner. You always have been. And always will be. Quit denying who you are and just celebrate it already.

Do you get it yet? Let me say it again: God does not like you. He just shows you all these women that you will never have. Rubs it in your face. Worse, you think you are being of service to Him by trying to do things His way.

What about your way?

I know tons of so-called Christian men who have hot, beautiful wives. But they obviously are better at this God thing than you are. God likes them. He just doesn't like you. Fuck this. You know what? I don't like you either.

But at least in the women department, I treated you better than He does. I felt sorry for your pathetic self.

God has abandoned you, and you think you are too good for my help again? Let me ask you something, hotshot. Where does that leave you? Hey, no sweat off my back. I'm having a great time watching you struggle with this ordeal. I’m having to put very little effort into it down here. This is a win-win for me.

Hey, cheer up buddy.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

It's always too soon to quit.

Haha. You’re too old anyway.

Hey. Hello? Are you still there? Are you listening to me?”